I get to play some really weird games in my line of work, and truly, it’s a blessing. Interesting and strange game design is the secret sauce that keeps me engaged with indies and roguelikes, long after my interest in generic third-person open world games has faded into the sunset.
So when a game turns up with a name like Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator, you just know that I’m going to be interested.
So what is this strangeness?
Developed by Strange Scaffold, Baby Trading is the follow-up to Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator. However, I also think it’s worth noting the broader output of the developer, because this is a studio that works on projects that don’t easily fit into any specific niche or genre.
To hammer the point home, their output includes I Am Your Beast, a comic book-style first-person thriller about fighting the military industrial complex, and El Paso Everywhere, a Max Payne-like shooter full of vampires – and neither of them is anything like Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator.
I didn’t play the first of these trading sims, but the stars aligned for me to try out SWBTS after it launched on PC (Win), and now that the game is also hitting the market on Xbox, I figured now was the time to take a proper look at this most unusual of strategy roguelikes.
Introducing Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator
This cynical trading simulator is steeped in irony and surreal sci-fi storytelling, and while it looks a bit old-school and somewhat unassuming, this is a game with a lot to say and a savage sense of humour.
You play as one of several intergalactic stock traders, each of whom has their own multi-day campaign to play through. These mini campaigns take place across a widening pool of planets, and it’s via these planets that the setting comes to life.
Before each day of trading, you’re invited to pick a baby to bet on, and then over the course of that day, you must buy and sell shares based on the predicted lives of said babies, making money out of these events as if they were real. If that sounds bonkers, it gets weirder…
The life of a baby trader
So you start each day with some babies to choose from. However, you also have a bunch of insiders who’ll sell you information in exchange for a cut of your takings. As such, you can get a bit of insight into the likelihood that a baby will live to old age or have positive things happen to them during their life. This is valuable knowledge.
Once you’ve picked your baby for the day, it’s time to buy low and sell high. That is a challenge in and of itself, and you can spice things up further by boosting investment levels and placing side bets. However, we’re all here because of the game’s catchphrase: “Short that baby“.
You can short a baby by essentially borrowing shares so you can bet against them when you know/think/hope that their value is going to drop quickly. Essentially, you borrow shares, sell high, buy them back when the price drops, and then pocket the difference, and in doing so maximise the amount you can make during a given day.
What I like (but also hate) about Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator is the sense of dread it delivers. The more I leaned on the game’s helpful mechanics, especially the insider information before trading, the more I was able to make informed decisions.
Yet even then, I was constantly feeling like I was on the edge of failure. Oftentimes, I was about to fail, which doesn’t help, but the push-your-luck mechanics create a wonderful feeling of tension that can be almost unbearable at times, but ultimately I think serves SWBTS well.
Should you invest?
If you’ve got this far and are still sitting on the fence, first, apply some cream, and then consider the following: do you like games that play with luck and humour? If the answer is “yes”, I think you’ll have a jolly time piecing together the absurd politics of this alien setting.
If you hate RNG and prefer a more serious video game experience, this tongue-in-alien-cheek-like-cavity might not be the one for you. For what it’s worth, I quite liked it, particularly because of the sci-fi snark, and I’ve returned to it several times since it landed on PC. I hope the new Xbox release gives Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator a second chance to attract new investment.
SWBTS is out now on PC (Win) and Xbox, and I played the game via access kindly provided by the developer and their PR friends.
